lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
