I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
