the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
