i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i came on her dog
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
