At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
