her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
He? As in you personified your dick?
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
