Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
