there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
