theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
