So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
