Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
