When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My life is pants optional.
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