You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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