The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
there's paper in my vomit.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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