The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
