but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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