so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
