I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
