So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize