someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize