Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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