I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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