I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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