I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Randomize
