I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
