ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
What happened to fro yo and sex?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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