Whod you bang
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
