That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
