No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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