I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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