Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
