The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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