he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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