Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
