so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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