Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
