wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
