I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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