Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Randomize
