You're my little dorito
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
