I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
