can u get pink eye on your cock?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
There r osticjed everywhere
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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