How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
