My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
