She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
