Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
