She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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