I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
