i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
