I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Randomize
