i think my tv is drunk
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
