Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
