her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
