Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
