Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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