Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
