so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
