We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
