I love black thongs
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
do nipples grow back?
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
